It’s been a while since I was here.
Nepal was amazing apart from the avalanche, (yes during the last few days of the Annapurna Circuit were on the other side of it). Terrible weather for a days trekking (with all anxious about a landslide or another avalanche) and my reactions to the tragedy – well I found it really hard. We were not directly involved but we knew people who had been on the circuit with us, that we had dined and trekked with – had died.
Most people in my tour were more upset at tourist losses. To me, if we (as wealthy tourists by comparison to the Nepalese) choose to be there and if we die – so be it. But the local porters and guides lost their lives trying to feed their families, doing a job. We had more choice and were privileged to be there. Not so for those who carried westerners bags. To me this was beyond sad and I feel into a deep melancholy.
It has taken me since November to get my life back together. That included the following realisations:
1. My relationship was over – we were just too different. I moved out three days after arriving back in Australia.
2. That I no longer wanted to work in Australia and I needed to be out in the world.
3. That I could no longer deny the fact I need to pursue my career as an author and stop staying in jobs I hate.
4. That #3 meant that I was permanently on and off unemployment benefits, studying and feeling lost – and broke and unable to support myself.
I needed to combine everything I love – teaching, travelling and experiencing new cultures with a enough time to write. Didn’t seem possible in Australia – working part time here meant limiting my life completely – something I was not prepared to accept.
So I quit it all and packed everything into two 20kg duffle bags (sold or gave away everything else) and took a job teaching English in Guiyang, China. I leave everything I know behind me on the 4th of March.
This blog is now dedicated to my favourite expression “Live a life fulfilled, not imagined”. See you soon Shanghai!
Jacci Pillar 