Written on the tarmac of a delayed flight from Darwin to Alice Springs

Pilot: keep a sharp eye on our flight attendants as they do our flight safety demonstration.

It was a 7 am flight after a long weekend of a comedy performance and two days in the Darwin office for work. I am not a morning person. I have only had one coffee and that was nearly two hours ago now.
I don’t have sharp eyes. They are currently blunt. Kind of like looking through a telescope that someone sneezed on.
I am not sure I know how to do sharp eyes. Even at the best of times.
So this particular flight gets delayed and we sit on the tarmac for an hour and a half. My eyes are now dead pools of disinterest.
Some dude starts doing yoga in the aisle. Not once, but every 15 minutes or so. Yoga. In the aisle. Yeah. You read that right.  Not just recommended exercise’s like on the back of the card that tells you to put your head between your knees in a crash. Full on Yoga.
Finally we get to taxi onto the runway (as I finish this).  We get the safety demo again. I think they think we are not only blunt eyed but also brain dead. Well I am becoming brain dead by now.
We get in the air and Yoga dude is at it again. I think the lady in the seat behind has sharp eyes now. From having his ass in her face. Every 10 minutes now.  
*I wrote this into a memo on my phone on the flight (in flight mode of course) and posted this afternoon.

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