A poem about gaslighting.
Whilst it’s not currently present in my life it sure has been in the past. Something I don’t wish to repeat. Aspie women are especially susceptible to “gaslighting” as I’m sure some men also are.
Gaslighting is a common form of manipulation (that anyone can experience), particularly when someone wants sexual access to someone but has no intention of that being respectful.
I hope it also highlights that gaslighting is sometimes seen as socially acceptable as part of “courtship” or flirtation (“treat em mean to keep em keen” rubbish) and thus harder to identify/deal with. However it is also a well recognised form of psychological abuse. I hope this poem helps describe that experience:
Start with a Queen of hearts and dry ingredients of care,
Make sure you prepare her when her emotion is laid bare,
Add compliments which she might be in of thorough need,
Combine her insecurities with sentiments, she’ll heed.
Then slowly tip her back into the objectification pot,
Gradually turn up the sexual commentary to “hot”,
Flip over her hesitations, say “But I like you for your brain”,
Withholding your feelings until she simmers in confused pain.
When you’ve tasted her sweetness but turned her bitter,
Turn up the gaslight again, pretend you’re not hitting on her,
If to expectation she does not quite seem to want to rise,
Add a good splash of ghosting and well picked lies.
Add salt to wounds and slowly reduce her down,
Slowly separate her from her previously held crown,
Pretend to listen and give her an occasional gentle stir,
Recite over the pot “But I’m not really sexualizing her”.
You’ve got her to boiling emotion but you’ve not listened,
Now her anger, like shining glaze, is starting to glisten,
Now you can say her crazy recipe is starting to go off,
Add a pinch of blame to her feelings, use lies to top.
Serve her broken heart up as proof of your skill,
Move to the next vulnerable woman at your will,
Season her with tales of how her before was madness complete,
Butter her wisely, the recipe takes best if you keep it to reheat.
Jacci Pillar 