In breaking news this morning, it has been revealed it was Mrs. Potato Head broke the recent scandal taking the Mister out of Potato Head.
Speaking to me this morning, from her safe house in the Hamptons, this is how the conversation went:
Mrs Potato Head revealed “I couldn’t take it any longer. He’s not even a mister. I left him for another woman years ago, she’s a later version of Potato Head than me. And I really feel sorry for Mister, I do“.
I could hear the nervousness in her voice, so I pushed “Really, you feel sorry for him? Or are you really scared?”
“I feel sorry for him, the press has made such a big deal of his limited choices. Of course, I get a choice. I can be a Miss again, or a Ms, or even a Mx. But the brand won’t let him use Master, they are concerned about BDSM references. I really shouldn’t be talking about this, it’s putting me in danger of them inflating my lips again, and it’s already hard enough to talk”.
“Oh, I see. So is there some kind of unspoken Bro code at Hasbro, that you are breaking?”
“Oh definitely. The bro code of Hasbro. You’ll end up a has been, bro, if you speak up about the sexist bullshit we endure at work”. I could hear her struggling to hold back tears.
“I am so sorry you are going through this. But irony is, that you’ve always been gender fluid, isn’t that right?”
“Completely! We all know there are millions of kids out there switching it up and switching my and Mr Potato Head bits around anyway, all quite healthy really. But the HasBro code…”
“What are you putting at risk here talking to me today? Mrs. Potato Head?” I asked.
“Oh please call me Dom. Mrs. Potato Head is just a brand inflicted upon me by the bro’s at Hasbro. I go by Dom, short for Dominatrix. Mister always said I was a ball breaker. I reminded him he had no balls…Oh, I gotta go, Hasbro have been sending me threatening videos and my partner just said we got another one”.
I could hear the commotion in the back ground and a voice crying, “OH MY GOD! The Wiggles, they sent the WIGGLES – Hot Potato!!!”
And then there was a loud sigh…and click. She hung up. I have since tried to make contact with them and they are safe and are seeking legal advice.
Jacci Pillar 