Leave the birds alone

To deal with the world I use music. I love my AirPods.

I deal with crowds and railway station platforms hidden under a veil of sound that mutes the cacophony that plagues my brain.

The direct input quashes strings and waves of the sounds that scatter around me. For a long time I thought everyone experienced this – that I was just mad. That I should hide the madness.

Now I embrace it. A couple of things I’ve learned to be able to embrace that:

  • Hearing gossip 50m away is a good thing. I hate gossiping. It used to upset me that I knew who the gossips were. Now I use that information to my advantage. To stay the hell away from them. Life is better without spiteful gossipy ninnies.
  • I find that when I put the music on to drown out the world I enter my own world. I go deep into the music and enjoy the experience fully. It often becomes like a happy trance.

From this happy trance I find my love of watching the world go by. Particularly on the train station platform.

Oh the birds. Doesn’t matter what sort of bird. But birds use rail platforms like little playgrounds. I can almost see the joy they take in the chaos of the humans.

They flit in and out in time with my musical headspace and it’s like a slow motion film reel. People blurring, birds in sharp relief. Leaping, dive bombing, swooping.

Recently a large human stomped up to sit beside me with a packet of crisps. An inquisitive sparrow had been sitting within 10 cm of my feet. They shushed it away.

From my trance land I found my silent head speak coming out loud.

“Leave the birds alone. They are not going to hijack your food and you look like you could spare a crumb anyway”.

Whoops! I covered my mouth when I realised what I’d done.

The person next to me roared laughing. They then offered the sparrow a bit of crisp which it gladly took.

Hooray!

The Strange Girl’s Dad

Deep in my mind’s eye

I see you, Dad, again

Framed by blue sky

And I’m a little girl again

You look down at me

And take my hand

I look up and all I see

Is that smiling man

No one understood me

I was “that” kid

You were the only family

That didn’t want me hid

They’d talk around me

As though I wasn’t here

You’d try to make them see

That I was standing there

You saw creative clever me

And it always made you mad

That they were too cruel to see

Beyond the strange girl’s Dad

I’ll miss you always

When I struggle too

They’re the longest days

Endless memories of you

I wish you were here

To take my hand

Tell them not to sneer

To help them understand

Those days together

The best days I had

I’ll always remember

My strange girl’s Dad.